“How could this happen to me?”
“Why does this always happen to me?”
“Well, with my luck….(insert bad outcome)."
“Why is the Universe/God/World against me?”
Do these types of thoughts sound familiar, either coming from yourself or someone you know?
If I find myself in a low emotional state, if I’m stressed, sad, angry, or hurt, if I am honest with myself, I realize that the common denominator, the main cause for my state, is that I have allowed myself to slip into victim consciousness. I have let myself fall into some level of belief that someone or something “out there” is 100 percent responsible for my life, my success or failure, my peace, my happiness. This is incredibly disempowering and ultimately an illusion.
Let’s be clear, I am not talking about situations in which some of us are truly victimized physically, sexually, emotionally, socially or economically, as adults and especially as children. I am talking about those of us who either have some distance in time from those situations or are outside of those situations completely, mentally and emotionally capable adults, who are allowing ourselves to exist partially or completely in a victim state of consciousness.
Yes, people do or say things towards us that are mean, violent, irritating, inconvenient, you name it, situations occur that are incredibly challenging, but as hard as this may be to swallow sometimes, we ALWAYS have the ultimate choice as to how we let them or the situation make us feel and how we choose to respond. Often, it does not feel as though we have a choice in our response at all, but we ALWAYS do.
The supreme opportunity is to choose our perspective. Can I look back at every single challenging situation that has ever happened to me in my life and discover that through the pain, fear, grief or anger, I received a powerful evolutionary lesson from it, that I met someone because of it who is now extremely important in my life, that I became closer with someone than ever before because of it? I believe this is always the potential final analysis, if we choose for it to be.
It is amazing the grace, power and flow that I experience when I am living the belief that LIFE DOES NOT HAPPEN TO ME, IT HAPPENS FOR ME. That the universe will give me exactly the experience I need at exactly the right moment for the evolution of my consciousness. As Eckhart Tolle said, “How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at the moment.”
Then I find it is about patience. We understandably want to know the WHY right away but often it doesn’t work that way. There may be a lot of growth that needs to happen first in order for our state of consciousness to have the capacity to know, understand and apply the why. The truth is, we will know, when it is relevant for us to know.
So can we say, "Why me?", not with angst but with great curiosity and enthusiasm? And can we remain available for an answer that may not look, sound or feel anything like we imagined?